Iowa Football Losers

For several weeks the Iowa sports press has tried to turn lemons into lemonade. It started when local favorite Brad Banks lost the Heisman Trophy. The local newspapers blared on page 1, “Banks Voted Heisman Runner-up.” Excuse me, there is no such thing as a second place for the Heisman Trophy, you either were awarded the trophy or you weren’t. But the local papers trumpeted his 2nd place in the voting like it was some sort of real award.

And now the U of Iowa team has humiliated themselves in the Orange Bowl. The full complement of violent criminals was represented on this bowl trip, including Jermelle Lewis (criminal mischief, disorderly conduct), Sam Aiello (assault causing injury, no arrest), Warren McDuffie (DUI), Derreck Robinson (drug posession), Scott Boleyn (public intox x3, interference w/official acts x2, obstructing an officer), Jacob Bowers (public intox x3), even suspended players like Siaka Massaquoi (DUI) reportedly made the trip although they did not play. It was reported that OJ Simpson attended the Orange Bowl practice sessions, I am sure that our young criminals had much to learn from OJ.

For many weeks, the local press has been proclaiming that this game would be the true Heisman test, since the Trophy winner, USC quarterback Carson Palmer would play against “runner-up” Iowa QB Brad Banks. I did not watch the game, but news reports indicate that Banks was held to little or no yardage while Carson Palmer wiped the field with the Iowa team. I guess Banks really did prove who should have won the Heisman, just like he said he would! Congratulations to the Iowa team for showing what a bunch of pathetic losers you are! I expect the morning newspaper headlines will read “Iowa takes 2nd Place in Orange Bowl!”

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