Fashion Faux Pas

A few days ago, a friend invited me to go see a movie. As I headed out the door, I thought to myself, I should wear my new jacket. I found a really nice black Mossimo jacket at Target for just $25, it fit me perfectly and I thought I looked really great, not too dressy, not too casual. So I grabbed it from my closet, threw it on, and headed out the door.

My friend’s reaction puzzled me, he said, “that’s an interesting jacket, I’ve never seen you wear it before.” I said, “sure you have, I wore it to your art opening a few weeks ago.” I didn’t think anything of it until I got home and hung it up, when I noticed the label. It wasn’t my new jacket, it was an old Jimmy’Z jacket I bought in about 1983.

This wasn’t just any jacket, it was part of a suit and pants set, Jimmy’Z’s first and most infamous product, it made their reputation. The pants didn’t have a zipper, or any fly at all, it fastened at the side with a velcro strap. It was a beachwear version of a conservative business suit, but cut very wide with big shoulder pads. I wore that suit constantly, the pants wore out but I kept wearing the jacket long after it was out of fashion. I haven’t worn it for many years, but I couldn’t bear to throw it out. I only grabbed it from my closet by accident.

I had an appointment for a haircut the next day, so I decided to wear it and ask for a second opinion from the women in the salon. I was vaguely hoping the jacket was so retro it was back in fashion again. But I got the same reaction, “that’s an interesting jacket.” I asked my haircutter for her opinion, she said, “well, it’s too big and wide for you, it makes your head look tiny. It reminds me of the jacket David Byrne wore in the movie ‘Stop Making Sense.'” Unfortunately, I knew exactly what she meant.

One thought on “Fashion Faux Pas”

  1. umm hilarious. i kind of want to see it and give you my opinion. it just might be perfect.
    by the way i stole your deconstructionist joke, if it’s “your’s”

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